Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Angry Parents--What To Do With Them.

The proverbial "Mother From Hell"

And her husband...

Now that school has started again and the heat wave is abating, maybe the "summer of discontent" will come to an end too...

Seems like every week we were hearing horror stories of angry parents and their involvement in their children's tennis careers (or whatever you would like to call them.) We have all encountered the angry or meddlesome parent and sometimes its hard to find the best course of action in dealing with them. A few years ago in a 12 and under girls tournament in Ft. Worth, I had two dads start fighting. After deciding that wasn't a hill I wanted to die on, I told them to stop fighting and take it outside. Well--they did just that. I looked out in the parking lot and they were going at it...

Here are some guidelines in dealing with angry parents:

1. Always speak to them in a calm tone. Yelling just begats more yelling...

2. Do not ignore their bad behavior. Remember, there are two sets of parents on each match and you need to be fair and impartial.

3. If you are an umpire, be sure to refer them to the referee whenever possible. Referees get paid more so they should have to deal with them...

4. Give them one "loving caution" if they misbehave but then code their child and remove the parent if they continue. The USTA has made it very clear that they want us to code the child for the misbehavior of the parents.

5. Do not get involved in a argument with them. Avoid it at all costs--but sometimes you just can't so be prepared.

6. Be sure to write up an incident report if you have a problem and send it to Chad Loup in the Texas Section office. Many times difficult parents continue in their ways because noone writes them up.

7. Stay as calm as possible. Your attitudes will have a lot to do with how the situation is resolved.

8. Be sure you know where the exits are.

9. If the situation is unresolvable, then call the authorities and have them removed from the site.

10. Pray diligently that you live through the experience--and then thank God for the lessons you have learned after the whole thing is over!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Here is one more suggestion. I had a good match going with the kids, but a real spat with the parents. The father of one boy was accusing the opposing player's mother of spitting on the father. The main protagonist, the mother, was an older lady from somewhere in Eastern Europe based on her accent. While I did try and calmly diffuse the situation with a low tone and slow speech pattern, I unknowingly was pointing my finger at her while conversing, which sent her into orbit. I now try and be more attentive to non-verbals. Some of these people belong in an insane asylum.

Texican said...

I like the concealed handgun licenses. Just shoot the obnoxious parent between the eyes. That will shut them down... I guarantee no other parent will raise a ruckus.

AR Hacked Off said...

At Nationals 12's had a nice young man get a code for throwing his racket and then stomping on it, then later in the 2nd set he went down 5-0, slammed a ball into the fence then tomahawked his racket into the fence, nice Game Penalty match was over.
The dad who earlier had been warned regarding coaching proceeds to berate the referee and accused the officials of costing his son the match.
Oh the joys of the helicopter parents.

Anonymous said...

Seems to me - if the tournament director would just buy EVERYONE lunch - all would be sane.

Booyaah said...

Did you see the amateur video footage of the fan fight during last night's match at the US Open. Here's a link: http://www.tennisnow.com/news/breaking-news--us-open-crowd-fight-captured-on-vid.aspx