Mandated Diversity

Three "slightly redneck" guys relaxing after calling lines all day.

Not long ago a good friend of mine said, "I have it made in the officiating world. I am black, gay, and young." After we stopped laughing, we realized he's probably more correct than we can imagine. Since I am "slightly redneck and old", I thought I would venture out and discuss MANDATED DIVERSITY in our unique little world of tennis officiating.

Not a day goes by that we don't read something in the papers about diversity and how its required if we are going to make it as the human race. The sad part is that you will never achieve diversity by mandating it and legislating it. People (when left alone) will always gravitate into different social and economic levels. I have friends who are white, brown, black, light green, gay, straight, bisexual, lesbian, transgendered, redneck, Methodist, Presbyterian, and tennis officials so I really don't care much for mandated diversity to say the least.

Mandated diversity rears its ugly head most often when we are required to hire someone because of some specific quality. Personally, I would rather hire someone because they are my friend and know the rules of tennis--not based on the color of their skin or some preference they may or may not have in the bedroom.

The saddest part of mandated diversity is that it ultimately leads to EXTREMISM. I thought I would show you some of our future officials if we follow the path of mandated diversity:

RONNIE REDNECK refereeing a tournament in Possum Kingdom.

NATASHA THE DRAG QUEEN doing publicity for the Oak Lawn Open.

TIMMY THE TWINK preparing for a chair at the next tournament.

MYRA THE BEARDED LADY in charge of locker rooms.

LEILA gearing up to head to her next tournament.

ATTILA. Just imagine him doing the chair for a McEnroe match.

These are just a few of the EXTREMES that we might soon see if we follow the path of MANDATED DIVERSITY in America...

She's Back...

Shino, the illustrious line official who called the now infamous footfault on Serena Williams, is back at this year's Open...

Too bad Serena won't be there to greet her. At least she provided lots of material for tennis commentators and blogs.

The Dreaded Cargo Shorts Make A TV Appearance

Horror of horrors! I was watching the unbelievably boring women's semi-final of the Pilot Pen pro tournament tonight and guess what I saw... A linesman was wearing the much-maligned and despised cargo shorts!!!

I realize they teach in schools and at most levels of tennis that the cargo shorts are a sin against humanity and should be banned throughout the universe; however, I personally like them and enjoy wearing them. The good part is that you can buy them at Academy for $9 and they come in khaki, black, and navy. Its also kind of fun because you feel a tad rebellious when you have them on...

Personally, I think they look very contemporary and a whole lot better than short shorts on a fat butt or short shorts on an overweight human trying to get into a chair.

BTW, you are more than welcome to wear cargo shorts when you work for me as your referee but please don't tell anyone that you did it! And who knows, this might even be the year that we experience SEE THROUGH CARGO SHORTS at the US Open (designed by Venus of course.)

David Roditi Named As TCU Men's Coach

TCU has finally finished their search for a coach--and found a good one in David Roditi!

David leaves a position on the USTA Player Development staff to assume the reigns of the Horned Frogs. He was a three-time All-American when he played at TCU and was runner-up in the NCAA doubles in 1995.

Congratulations David and TCU! You made a great choice.

So You Want To Be An ITA Chair Official...

One of the most frequently asked questions we receive is "how do I become an ITA chair official?" Seems that lots of people go to college matches and get caught up in the excitement and immediately think all they have to do is call someone and they can start doing chairs at the next dual match. Well, you are looking through ROSE COLORED GLASSES if you think this is true.

Becoming a credible ITA chair official is a difficult (and sometimes long) process. Just so there are no illusions of how it is done, here are some of the things you will need to know:

1. You must have a strong grasp of the rules and especially the ITA rules. If you don't, you won't last long in the chair.

2. Make friends with the ITA coordinators. The bottom line is that no coordinator is going to hire someone they don't like. Please don't tell the coordinator in your first conversation that you played tennis (or your kid played tennis) and know all the rules. That's the quickest way not to get hired.

3. Be sure you play well with others. If you are always the root of the problem among officials you probably won't be the root that stays...

4. Do not commit to matches and then cancel to do another ITA match or call lines at a pro tournament in Africa. This is the quickest way to go back to doing ZAT's.

5. Commit yourself to doing the TRAINING. No coordinator is going to put you in the chair without training. Many times you are going to have to go through chair training without being paid but then we've all done that.

6. Find the training and let them know you are interested. Chair training opportunities are indeed difficult to find and only a few of the coordinators will let you in a chair to learn what you need to do.

7. Don't whine and complain if you don't get a bunch of matches the first year you are qualified to do chairs. Just because you pass the ITA test does not mean you are ready to do chairs.

These are just a few guidelines that hopefully will help you in your quest to chair an ITA match. Its great fun and exciting but also requires a lot of work and training.

If you are interested in pursuing this further, give me a shout and I'll point you in the right direction. My email is rmtennis@yahoo.com and my number is 214 796 7402.

Good luck!

Chair Training & Shadowing Opportunities

I have quite a few openings for chair training and shadowing and I figured the best way to "put the word out" was to use the blog...

CHAIR TRAINING OPPORTUNITIES

August 31 4:00 p.m. Highland Park HS

September 14 4:00 p.m. Highland Park HS

September 17-19 All day UNT collegiate tournament

September 21 4:00 p.m. Highland Park HS

September 24 3:45 p.m. Highland Park HS

October 5 4:00 p.m. Highland Park HS

October 21 All day Highland Park HS

October 22 All day Highland Park HS

SHADOWING OPPORTUNITIES

October 1-3 All day Brookhaven Tournament

October 19-20 3:30 p.m. Plano district tournament

ALL CHAIR TRAINING AND SHADOWING OPPORTUNITIES ARE UNPAID.

** If you are interested in any of these opportunities you can contact me at: rmtennis@yahoo.com or 214 796 7402.

Highland Park Lends A Helping Hand In Training Officials

Highland Park Varsity Tennis Players

Graham Sowden (R) and Preston Glasscock (L)

Denise Offerdahl (Austin)

Official in Training at HP Tennis Center

Once in a while you encounter someone who is looking for ways to help others--and in this case, Highland Park High School (and their coach, Dan Holden) are those people. HP recently purchased six new officials chairs and will be allowing us to do chair training at all of their home dual matches. This training is invaluable when it comes to training new ITA officials and we will be looking forward to producing some great new recruits this year.

A special THANK YOU to Highland Park ISD and their coach. Not only do they have the finest tennis program in America, they are also committed to helping others achieve that same level of excellence!

The Myronian Crashed & Burned--But He's OK!

The Myronian during his happier days.

The Myronian being loaded into his new chariot.

The Myronian's new mode of transportation.

Site of the Myronian's downfall.

Our very own Myron Krueger had an accident on his bike yesterday--but he's going to recover even though he's slightly bruised and broken.

His clavicle was broken in three places and he had some injuries to his lower leg. I'm sure by now he's giving out orders to either his wife or his nurses!

Be sure to remember our favorite Aglet in your prayers... I'll keep you updated as we know more.

Congratulations To Vickie Wright--OUTSTANDING OFFICIAL At Kalamazoo

VICKIE WRIGHT

(Austin, Texas)

"Oustanding Official" at Kalamazoo

Congratulations are in order for our very own Vickie Wright (Austin) as she was selected as the "Outstanding Official" at the national tournament in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

Vickie serves as President of the Austin officials association as well as being coordinator for the University of Texas tennis matches.

Of course we in Texas already know that Vickie is "outstanding" but now the whole tennis world knows it.

Congratulations Vickie!

Chair Training Opportunities This Week!

We have a great opportunity for chair training this week as we will be having chair training in conjunction with the Highland Park-Plano West Invitational Team Tournament this Friday and Saturday. This is training in which you will actually be chairing a match with qualified instructors there to assist you. There will be matches at 8:30 a.m. and 1:00 p.m. on Friday (August 20) and Saturday (August 21).

If you are interested here are the qualifications:

1. You must be USTA certified and have a USTA shirt.

2. You must have an interest in becoming a chair official at either the USTA or ITA level.

3. You must have a good working knowledge of the rules.

Highland Park HS has been very gracious in allowing us to do chair training at their home matches this season--and this tournament is a great kickoff for this program. The top high school teams in Texas will be at the tournament so it will be fantastic training.

** Special note: This is not paid training but will be invaluable for you to be considered for ITA chair assignments in the spring.

If you are interested, contact Randy at 214 796 7402 or email him at: rmtennis@yahoo.com

OMG

I have now burned all my UT things and have become a fan of Hardin-Simmons University...

Follow Up Letter To Previous Post

After much thought and reflection upon our current situation in the Metroplex (as discussed in the previous post), I thought we should write the President and ask for help...

Here is my letter:

Dear Mr. President,

I am writing to request some of the monies in the latest stimulus package. We are a small group of officials who work long and hard and many times are forced to do so without food being provided.

We would appreciate your consideration of our plight and if you can send a large sum of money, we might even be able to purchase uniforms for our officials. We would consider this to be a wonderful gesture on your part. While we are asking, we would also like to ask you to provide money for our gas and travel expenses. We are totally committed to diversity and transparency so everyone would receive at least some of the money.

Thank you for your time and I know you are busy with golf and vacations, but please consider our request. We will wait to hear from you.

Sincerely,

Randy

(Your humble male-servant in Plano)

The Struggle For Lunch Continues...

For the past couple of years the Metroplex tennis officials have had a mighty struggle to simply have a well established tradition enforced--and that is lunch/supper provided for officials.

Seems that the vast majority of tournaments do abide by the established rules but a few have simply ignored the MTOA policy. It is a sad state of affairs when the tournament will provide meals for site directors and tournament directors but completely ignore officials. Many times we are asked to work 12-14 hour shifts with no meals provided--and folks, that needs to change...

Here is the MTOA policy: The tournaments are to provide meals for officials but if they choose not to, then the official may leave the site for an hour and go purchase their own meals and still receive pay for that hour.

While I agree with the policy, we are still having to purchase our own meals. The only way for this policy to be enforced is for our referees to mandate the policy--or noone work the tournament.

Here are the Metroplex tournaments that provide meals:

Brookhaven Country Club

Southlake Tennis Center

North Richland Hills Tennis Center

Collin College

UTA tournaments

UNT tournaments

UIL tournaments

Highland Park High School

Plano Schools

Frisco Schools

McKinney Schools

Arlington Tennis Center (provides $7.50 for the official to go and purchase their meal)

Here are the Metroplex tournaments that DO NOT provide meals:

Dallas Tennis Association

Ft. Worth Tennis Association

If you choose to work the tournaments that do not provide meals, then I guess that is your choice. It is sad when two of our largest organizations choose to simply ignore an established policy that has worked well for many years.

Shirt Bargain of the Day

ITA Officials Shirt

Cost: $23 plus $4.95 shipping

USTA Officials Shirt

Cost: $35.95 plus $8.45 shipping

You do the math...

The Illuminating Nature Of Women's Tournament Tennis

This past weekend I had the privilege of refereeing a women's adult tournament--and boy, did I learn some new things about tennis! And just when I thought I had seen and heard it all...

LESSON ONE

After putting the ladies on court at 8:00 a.m. I casually sauntered by their court at 8:12 just to see if they were playing. Much to my surprise (and chagrin) they were still merrily striking balls back and forth among all the twitters and giggles. Sensing the importance of the moment, I said loudly to all four courts "time to get started ladies. Remember there is a five minute warmup."

I patiently stood by the offending court for four more minutes and the giggling females were still enjoying perfecting their volleys. I patiently called, "one minute" and that produced no results.

After five minutes had elapsed from my original pronouncement, I told the ladies that they needed to begin play. All four glared and me and said, "let's take our serves now." Mustering all my male courage, I then said, "its time to play ladies. This is not a wish, this is a directive."

I then thought the best course of action was a momentary retreat, so I left to go down and check on the other courts. I returned five minutes later and they were STILL taking serves! At this point, I went to the court and said, "Ladies, you are trying my patience." They then looked at each other and all four of them went to the shaded back corner of the court to giggle and twitter even further.

At this point, I just left in total amazement. I knew it was a battle I wasn't going to win...

LESSON TWO

I observed something happening on a distant court and saw one of the umpires approach the ladies in question. I noticed he spoke to them for a moment and then left. After 9.5 more minutes, I saw the ladies then pack up their bags and head for the tournament desk.

When I inquired what had happened, one of the ladies said, "Our opponent was injured and we were giving her our alloted ten minute injury timeout. Don't you know the rules about an injury?"

After a creative learning time in which I tried to illuminate their willing minds, we covered the proper procedure for a medical timeout. Probably to absolutely no avail...

LESSON THREE

A ladies doubles match was called for the finals match. As usual, as soon as they were given the balls and assigned a court, one said, "I have to go to the bathroom."

The ever-sharp tournament director then said, "perhaps you should have gone to the restroom earlier."

At which point, the smiling lady said, "Don't worry, I pee quick!"

That is a point to which we will never go again...

What a great weekend of learning in my tennis officials life!

Interesting Tidbits From Around The Officiating World

One can learn many things in the officiating world by simply WATCHING and LISTENING.

Here are some tidbits we recently picked up from tennis officials:

* The referee at a recent large tournament in the Metroplex said, "when we rove, we only rove from the sidewalks. We never go on the court."

* A tournament director said at a recent 12's tournament, "They are only 12 so their eyes aren't capable of seeing the lines."

* A roving official said when questioned about footfaults, "I never call footfaults if they aren't going to the net behind their serve."

* An experienced ITA official was questioned about her ability to call footfaults when upon observation it was noted that when the player prepared to serve, the official would immediately focus her attention on the service box--never even looking at the server!

* An experienced ITA official informed new trainees that "you are never to have a pencil with an eraser on it when you are in chair." And the rest of this story is well documented history...

* An experienced female ITA official recently stated, "I never have trouble in my matches." I just wonder where she has been officiating...

* A chair official recently told an ITA player that "most of the ball missed the line" when upholding an erroneous out call.

* One of the best was when a Metroplex official said when we work from 7:30 a.m. until 7:30 p.m. we don't need lunch or supper. I know some tournament directors that would love to hire this official.

* After coding a player for emphatically saying "Jesus" after a lost point, the official was told that "Jesus has to have a last name before you can code it." I'll be taking a survey on what people think was Jesus' last name... This should be great!

* An official said, "I'm going to go work on the pro circuit calling lines--and make my living doing so." She should be home on welfare by now if she actually believes that can happen.

* An official bragged, "I had eye surgery so I can go call lines on the pro circuit." There aren't even words to adequately describe this one...

These are just a few that I've heard. We'd welcome your anecdotes from around the world.

TEXAS Officials Are #1

During the past few days I have had the privilege of working the boys and girls 12's tournament in Southlake (with the glorious Susan Wertenberger as referee). While visiting with some parents who travel throughout the US with their children, they made the following comment to me:

"In our opinion, the Texas officials are by far the best in the country!"

Enough said...

Off For A Day of Surprises

Well, looks like another really hot day and I'm off to officiate a boy's 12's tournament!

I'll let you know what all surprises come along when I get home tonight...