Don't Get Your Nose Out of Joint

An age old problem that exists in all areas of life is people who get their nose out of joint too easily. Seems that it has become very prevalent in the tennis officiating world these days...

Here are some great examples:

** A female official who got her nose out of joint because she didn't get assigned to a certain "team" at a tournament. She later got even more disjointed because she didn't get to do the #1 singles match.

** A male official got his nose out of joint because his Subway sandwich has mayonaise instead of mustard.

** A female official was offended because she didn't like her roommate. A male official complained at the same time because his roommate snored. I seriously thought about putting them together or just letting them swap roommates!

** An unnamed official got her nose out of joint because someone posted a comment on the blog about a pro official's hair and how it never moves. Her nose was so far out of joint that she had to go all the way to the USTA headquarters in NYC to try to get it fixed.

** An official got his/her nose out of joint because someone posted a comment that we had named our national tennis center after an old lesbian. Noses shouldn't get out of joint when truth is being told.

Biblically speaking there is a concept called "taking up another's offense" and that basically means that you get mad because someone else got mad or offended. Seems to be kind of prevalent in today's officiating world... Here are some good ones:

** An official felt he had to go around the state bad-mouthing another official because he didn't hire his buddy. Of course he never considered the fact that his unhired buddy was inept.

** A female official spent most of a day pouting because her friend got sent to another site.

** A female official got mad, called NYC, and threatened to file one of our famous grievances against someone she didn't know because they intimated that she and one of her friends were lesbians. Who can ever figure that one out! All you would have to do is go out to eat with both of them and then you'd know...

REMEMBER: Referees tend not to hire those who have noses that are easily disjointed. Just a word to the wise...

Here are some guidelines:

** Don't get your panties in a wad over insignificant things.
** Take your assignments and rejoice you even got some and don't gripe and complain.
** Don't file a grievance everytime the sun comes up.
** Quit hyperventilating everytime someone thinks you may or may not be a lesbian. Time will tell...
** Remember that the solution to every problem is not calling NYC.

Oh for the day of nice healthy noses...