Saturday, October 18, 2008

Temple Turmoil: Rev. Dr. Cooter Ray Clanahan

There are times when I just have to revert to my pastoral leanings and this is one of those times. I get numerous calls and emails each week from pastors around the state in which they share their trials and tribulations as pastors. Here is the story of PASTOR COOTER RAY CLANAHAN in Backwoods, Texas...

Pastor Cooter Ray called to share that he had just created a new committee to deal with unrepentant and recalcitrant church members. They were planning on dealing with church members who had been naughty and would not willingly repent of their many wrongdoings. Just when he thought the new committee was going to spring into action--lo and behold, the national convention of his church rolled into town on a Saturday night and completely de-churched the unrepentant members without even consulting the pastor or the newly formed committee. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth in Backwoods, Texas...

In order to soothe Pastor Cooter Ray's feelings, the national committee leadership invited 14 of the church members to serve as Godly evaluators at the next national convention--lo and behold, they made these appointments without even consulting the pastor!!! He learned about their appointments when he read the "Backwoods Blather" on Monday morning...

The final straw came for Pastor Cooter Ray when the Church Spiritual Monitoring Committee decided to remove one of the Sunday School teachers--and told the pastor that it was his duty to inform the poor teacher of her fate. Alas, Pastor Cooter Ray had been too busy having coffee with Aunt Lucy's second cousin twice removed that he "didn't have the time" to tell the teacher she was being removed--and she had to hear it from her own Mother!!! Again there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth in Backwoods, Texas for the poor teacher who wasn't even informed of her impending doom.

The only redemption to this sad tale is that Pastor Cooter Ray was invited to come and say the opening prayer at the National Convention in 2020... What an honor and it sure helped to heal his sad and bruised spirit...

(Any parallels between Pastor Clanahan's perdicament and any state in the United States is purely conincidental and without merit.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of the age old idiom "You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs." For you lesser educated officials out there, especially you pro-wannabees(you know, the ones that are too stupid to find a real job and think being a professional tennis official will bring them untold rewards and respect) - I'll translate into plain English...

This idiom means something that you say which means it is difficult to achieve something important without causing any unplesant effects.

Too bad you idiots don't realize you can make more money fipping patties at Burger King.

Keep it up there ole wise one. We need to shake things up for the betterment of mankind!!!!!!!