A Walk Through The Park--What An Experience!

If you have ever met with a group of tennis officials or just observed them in action, you know that is quite an experience!  Never a weekend goes by that we don't hear bizarre tales of officials and their rulings.  Some totally wrong but the vast majority right on target.  The thing that makes the world of officials so unique and interesting is the fact that we are made up of different folks with different personalities and different ways of officiating.  Here are some of the wild ones...

The Fist Bumper

One of the most "politically correct" of all officials but also the most frustrating.  After all, we're not in the 8th grade any longer and hardly need to bump fists every time we see each other.  One official was overheard telling another, "let me give you some knuckle love".  Gross!  They are the ones who are always waiting for you when you finish your match with fist extended...

The "Expert on Everything"

There aren't too many of these but the ones we do have are awful!  They think they are an expert on anything and everything in life--and freely share their self image with everyone in the room.  Deeply offended if they ever miss a question on the officials' exams and rarely have many friends in the officiating world.  Seldom invited for drinks or supper...  Love to get you into discussions about rules so they can share their vast knowledge with everyone in sight.

Attila the Hun

This is the official who charges headlong into every situation and codes anything and everyone in their path.  Commonly seen running around with their tape measure and stop watch at junior events and are the scourge of any adult tournament.  Usually found in west Texas but have been sighted in all areas of the country. Don't dare take 21 seconds between points because they will get you!

OCD Terror

You don't want to have this one on your team for sure.  They are possessed with every detail and even if you put their sticks up for them and measure their net, they still go back and do it all over again.  They have to have their water bottle in the same place everytime and freak out if their clothes aren't perfectly ironed or if there is a hair out of place.  Usually iron their shorts and shirts and underwear before every match or tournament.  Women with this disorder are usually narcissists and men just drive everyone nuts.  Too bad there isn't a pill we can give them to chill them out...

The incessant talker.

This is the official that you just want to tell to shut up.  They talk constantly and about anything and everything--and usually show their ignorance just opening their mouths over and over again.  If this is you, do us all a favor and dial it back a bit...

Arrives late and wants to leave early...

You don't usually have to see these officials for long because no coordinator will put up with their antics.  They always seem to arrive late for their shift or rotation and then have some sob story so they can leave early.  Be careful that your coordinators don't get together and compare your stories or you will soon be out of a job.  High maintenance officials usually don't last long.

"The Whiner"

The scourge of all officiating is the whiner!  They gripe and complain about everything and then they are the first ones calling and asking when they are going to get paid.  Nothing pleases them and they are always looking for someone to listen to their complaints.  If they are a woman, they are usually divorced or have driven their husband crazy.  If they are a man, avoid them at all costs.  They will ruin your image...