Beware of the alligators!

ALLIGATOR:  In today's vernacular, it is one who would deceive and defraud new officials in regard to pay, working conditions, and assignments.

In our tennis world, we are busy enlisting, training, and struggling to get our new and ITA officials certified by the upcoming and expired deadlines--and its quite the task!  All of the new testing requirements challenge the mind and imagination of even experienced officials and it can be a daunting and frustrating task for a new official--BUT ALAS, there are even more serious dangers awaiting our new and less-experienced officials and that is the presence of ALLIGATORS in our midst...

We try to walk our new officials through the officials' waters but its not always an easy task.  In the Metroplex, we set up the METROPLEX TENNIS OFFICIALS ASSOCIATION years ago to help and they have similiar organizations in San Antonio and Houston but that leaves a lot of the state basically uncovered and unprotected...

The sad thing is that some officials and tournament directors seek to enlist new officials with lesser pay and more work requirements but simply forget to tell them they are being abused.    IF YOU ARE A NEW OFFICIAL, here are things you need to check out before agreeing to work for anyone:

*  Be sure your pay scale is agreed upon in advance.  Pay in the Metroplex is $18/hour for umpires with a 6 hour minimum and $20/hour for referees with an 8 hour minimum.  DO NOT let anyone tell you that we pay new officials a lesser amount because that simply isn't true.  There are set fees in every area in Texas so be sure to ask before consenting to work.

*  Remember that there are different pay scales for USTA, ITA, UIL, and pro events.  Always have the pay scale made crystal clear before agreeing to work.

*  Remember that as an official you are considered to be an INDEPENDENT CONTRACTOR and that means you can work for whatever amount you agree to.  The local associations are there to provide a base pay to insure that new officials are not underpaid.  You are always free to negotiate whatever rate you desire with your referee or tournament director but be sure the facts are known in advance.  Alligator bites hurt... 

*  Be sure that whoever you agree to work for is working with the local association and if not, that they are providing you with a Form 990 and that they will be filing your 1099 form with the IRS.  If they aren't, don't work for them because you don't need any problems with the IRS.

*  Remember that local officials organizations are registered with the IRS and do all of your tax information in the correct way.  Anything else is not being fair to an official.

*  Check to see the policy of lunch and supper being provided.  It is the policy of the MTOA for meals to be provided or time given to leave the court (with pay) to secure your own meals.  In some cases, if meals are not provided then additional pay will be added to the tournament invoice.  If you choose to work without meals being provided, then that is your own choice but not one that you are required to make.  Simply put, no meals provided meals more money for the referee and tournament director so be sure to keep that in mind.

*  Do not let a referee or tournament director ask you to arrive early on the day of your assignment and then not pay you from that arrival time.  A legitimate organization would never ask you to work for free.  If you are required to be there at 7:30 a.m. then you should be paid from that arrival time.

These are just some words of advice to new officials.  If you have questions, feel free to write.  You don't want to get bit by an ALLIGATOR...

Amazing Quotes From Tennis Parents

At one time or another, we have all encountered the infamous tennis parent--and the results aren't always good.  As we patiently wait on more decisive action from the USTA and the Junior Tennis Council, we can at least enjoy reading what the parents have to say.  Here are some of the more irate comments directed to officials:

*  "Do you realize how much money I have spent to get him here?"
*  "Do you not know the rules or are you just stupid?"
*  "You can't call a footfault on her if she isn't going to net."
*  "How much is that other Dad paying you?"
*  "Do you actually have a Mother?"
*  "I'm going to be waiting for you in the parking lot after this match is over."
*  "I'm going to kick your ass."
*  "You are only coding my kid because he's black."
*  "Why do you hate Asians?"
*  "You need to learn to speak Spanish if you are going to work in Texas."
*  "Its obvious you hate Russians so get off our court."
*  "What the f__k do you think you're doing?"
*  "Are you totally blind?"
*  "My son's opponent is mentally ill so you need to get down to his court and do something."
*  "Get off my kid's court.  He doesn't like having officials around."
*  "Go ahead and code my kid,  The USTA doesn't do anything about it anyway."
*  "Sweet, merciful Jesus!  Where did you come from?"

Sometimes the parents are a tad more educated and a little more socially acceptable, and here are some of their comments:

*  "Do I need to pay for you to get some additional training?"
*  "Can I have the name of your supervisor so I can report you?"
*  "I'm calling our pro so he can tell you that you made the wrong decision."
*  "Do you realize my son has never gotten a code violation in his entire life?"
*  "My daughter was elected class favorite so she never could have done what you said."
*  "Honestly, that is not how we do things in Dallas."
*  "I'm on a TCD team so we don't have to worry about having officials near our court."
*  "Its your job to make my son behave."
*  "Don't you have shade for us to sit in?"
*  "My maid is smarter than you are."
*  "I will be praying for you."
*  "You are insulting my intelligence with your decisions."
*  "Do you realize that I am a Stanford graduate?"
*  "I played all my life and I know that ball was in."
*  "I know Billie Jean King and I'm going to call her and report you."
*  "I have a friend who is on the officials committee so you are finished as an official."
*  "I played tennis at Texas in 1939, so you need to listen to what I tell you."
*  "I'm calling Herb Taylor so he can teach you the rules."
*  "You do know that I know Myron Krueger don't you?"

Great Article By David Mullins

Thought you might enjoy reading this great blog post by David Mullins (former University of Oklahoma women's coach).  You can personally check out David's blog by going to the "Links" section on the far right side of this page:

WHAT EVERY PLAYER SHOULD KNOW BEFORE JOINING A COLLEGE TEAM

I spent 4 years competing as an elite collegiate tennis player and another 12 years coaching college tennis in three different conferences, on both the men’s and women’s side. The landscape of college tennis and college sports in general have changed dramatically since I commenced my playing career over 16 years ago. There is more money and resources available to these student-athletes than ever before and it appears that there has never been a better time to be a student-athlete than today. The quality of coaching, the access to medical care, the extra money available from student assistance funds, the ability to showcase their talents via social media, the internet and on cable television. The list goes on and the college experience I enjoyed in the late 90’s looks very different to how it does today.

However, I don’t necessarily believe that nicer facilities, bigger scholarship checks and more support staff is always of greater benefit to these young players. Many NCAA Division I universities have created endless safety nets in order to protect these students from failing, which they believe would negatively impact a team’s success or an Athletic Department’s reputation. My belief is that it will be a difficult path for student-athletes to experience deep growth and make positive changes in their lives if we don’t allow them fail.
 It was once understood that being a student-athlete would be a rewarding yet very challenging experience. Personally, I had a difficult freshmen year as I adapted to the college game, a different court surface, a new coaching style, a strange culture, and gaining my independence among other things. However, I endured many small challenges and by the end of my first semester as a sophomore I was thriving and taking full advantage of this unique opportunity. I grew each and every year, and by the end of my 4 years, I felt prepared to take on the real world. The lessons I learned from my athletic experience and coach far outweighed what I acquired in the classroom. I had become tougher, better able to handle any adversity thrown my way, all while developing my leadership capabilities. As a coach, I have had the great pleasure of watching many other players under my watch go through this same process time and time again. I have dozens of letters from former players thanking me for putting them through some of these difficulties and challenging them every step of the way. They did not understand it at first, but they persevered and benefitted greatly from the experience. Today they are applying these lessons in their personal and professional lives.

It appears now that many players, parents and athletic department administrators no longer trust in this four-year process. If players are criticized or challenged early in their career, they want to transfer, quit (but keep their scholarship) or run to the athletic administration to have someone set the coach straight! In recent years, I have seen this occur more frequently in all sports in many athletic departments throughout the country, and it is a very concerning trend for the future of our sport and, quite frankly, the future of our society. How can we develop leaders if they only believe everything should be “fun”, conflict-free and have no interest in being pushed outside of their comfort-zone?

There are many parties to blame for this trend, including the college coaches. We promise these student-athletes the world during the recruiting process and then wonder why they feel entitled when they get on campus! However, players and their parents need to understand that it is an honor and not a right to receive a scholarship to represent and compete for a specific institution of higher learning. Players need to truly understand what it is they have signed up for and look for ways to be better prepared for the realities and expectations of being a student-athlete. I hope in some small way, the following list can help current and future collegiate tennis players:

1.     You are no longer paying the coach for their input, like you have done for most of your tennis career. The coach, or more correctly, the University is paying YOU. Understand that one of the reasons your junior coach was probably super positive and encouraging was because you were contributing to their wages. They were willing to hold back their opinions and avoid being completely honest with you so that you would continue to pay them for their services.

2.     I hate to call playing college tennis a job, but the process of receiving a scholarship can be a great transition from High School into the job market. You are being paid for your dedication to the program just like you would be paid for any other job. With that, there will be expectations placed upon you. Don’t be surprised that your “boss” (your coach) has high expectations for you and your attitude towards playing for a team, training and competing. Your college scholarship is probably worth more than the average yearly salary for most people in the U.S.A. There is no perfect job just like there is no perfect collegiate program. There are going to be challenges and difficulties along the way. Embrace them, learn from them and keep persevering.

3.     You will either play low in your team’s line-up or will not play at all if you are not performing. You are not guaranteed a spot in the line-up because you believe yourself to be the hardest worker or make some better life decisions than some of your teammates.

4.     Practice match wins rarely count in how the coach determines the line-up. I have a practice match win over former top 10 ATP player, Mardy Fish, it doesn’t mean I believe I should have been Top 10 in the world!

5.     Your college coach cares about you a great deal, despite their actions at times. It would mean they did not care for you if they were not willing to hold you accountable for your actions. If they let you do whatever you wanted and never pushed you out of your physical and mental comfort zone then they are not a coach, they are a cheerleader.

6.     Understand that the only way to resolve issues with your teammates and coaches is to communicate with them. They may not always agree with you, they may challenge your thinking patterns, but it does not mean they are unapproachable and it should not stop you from keeping the communication lines open at all times. If you have an issue, then speak with that person about it. Your parents, or anyone else for that matter, cannot solve these issues for you. Have the courage to speak your mind; you have to be around these people nearly every day and it won’t be enjoyable if you are harbouring some ill will against a fellow teammate or coach.

7.     Understand that you have a role in the team’s functioning and success as much as the next person on the team. Learn to take responsibility for your actions and truly understand what role you are playing in any type of team dysfunction, on or off the court. There are always two sides to every story.

8.     The college coach is watching and evaluating you every day in practice, in competition and in the team environment. They often know you better than you know yourself, and they definitely know your game inside and out. Your junior coach probably did not get the opportunity to see you compete as much as they would have liked. Your college coach is sitting on your court for every match you play (which is a lot of matches) so believe me, they probably are not missing much. They know where you belong in the line-up better than anyone else, and it is not even close!

9.     If you do play in the line-up, be grateful for the opportunity and don’t complain where you play. Each match is worth the same amount of points so you are playing an equally important role as the person playing No. 1. Put the team first and don’t complain about where you think you should be playing. The coach ABSOLUTELY knows best as to what line-up sets the team up for the greatest chance of success.

10.  Stop telling yourself that the coach is putting pressure on you to win. There is inherently some pressure involved with trying to win for something bigger than yourself. But remember that any pressure you perceive is self-inflicted. You can choose not to succumb to that “pressure”. Again, if you don’t perform, you don’t play. That is life, get used to it. Don’t blame someone else for the things you have going on in your head. Take responsibility for your actions and your performances.

11.  ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH: you will get yourself into a lot of troubling situations if you don’t own the truth. Your coach will be very understanding if you are quick to own up to any mistakes you make. You are in college: you will make plenty of mistakes. That is to be expected. Own the mistake, learn from it and help your teammates learn from it, too.

Life As An Official In Abilene, Texas

Since Texas is such a huge state and we have tennis officials everywhere, we thought it would be fun to hear from officials about what life is like in their area.  We will kick it off with Abilene, Texas and a word from their local coordinator, Allen Prachyl.

"Life as an official in Abilene is busy, busy, busy.  Population wise Abilene is the 25th ranked city in Texas with 117,000 people. Even though Abilene is not the biggest town in Texas, it is a big tennis town with a lot of events held here each year.

We have two Champs, one Supers, two Challengers, four Opens and one Adult tournament every year.  We have three high school tennis teams that require officials for their district matches.  We host the 6A and 4A regional tournaments in the fall, in the spring we host several smaller school tournaments. We also host the 3A regional tournament in the spring.

We have 2 Division III colleges, McMurry and Hardin-Simmons University.  We also have one Division I college, Abilene Christian University.  All three of our universities use officials for their home matches.

So, life as an official Abilene is a busy one."

Allen Prachyl

How To Have A Happy and Contented Chair Official

The face of true contentment.

A few years ago a prominent collegiate coach called and asked if I could come and meet with his men's team and help teach them how to deal with a chair official.  After picking myself up from the floor, I actually thought about it and realized  he was probably a very wise man...

As officials we often talk about different players, what they have done, and how best to deal with them so it makes sense that collegiate players should learn how to best deal with their chair official.  Since they usually get a different chair official for each of their matches they might need to understand some basic principles of working with a chair official.  Here are some thoughts:

*  Be polite. 

*  Don't tell the official that they are the "worst you have ever seen."  Trust me, there are a lot worse ones out there somewhere.

*  Don't ask us if we are blind.  We got up into the chair on our own so that's a stupid thing to say.

*  Don't be condescending when you ask questions or make comments.  Flattery will get you everywhere but a condescending attitude will get you nowhere.

*  Don't call us names when you are talking to your coach and saying it loud enough for us to hear.  We actually do have ears.

*  Don't yell "f__k" and then get mad when we code you.  Your Mother should have corrected that behavior a long time ago and we are now the instrument of instruction in your life since she abdicated her responsibility.

*  Don't spit at us or on us.  You know where that will lead...

*  Don't ever call a female official "fat".  They may be true but they sure don't want to hear it from a 19 year old.

*  Don't call a female official a "f__king bitch" and then expect no consequences.  If you do, the wrath of God is probably about to descend on you.

*  Don't smirk.  A smart ass will never get the benefit of the doubt. 

*  Remember we are humans (just like most of you) and we can actually miss a call now and then.

*  Keep in mind that we can have a bad day (and one made worse by your presence on our court) and know that days like that can produce unwelcome results in your life.

*  Don't call on God or look to the heavens pleading for help when you get overruled.  Jesus probably doesn't care about your match so help will not be on the way.

*  Act like a responsible, respectful young adult and you will be treated in the same manner.  Tennis is not a game of morons acting like morons so keep that in mind.  You behavior and demeanor do matter.

Last year a player gathered up the loose balls and brought them to the chair official after the 3 hour match was completed.  Wise young man...

State of Affairs In Texas Tennis

Now that the summer season is officially over, we can look back at the past three months and learn a lot of things.  We can see ways to improve tournaments, officiating, and the overall experience of a tennis tournament--or we can ignore what we see and continue in mediocrity in some areas.  Here are a few things observed over this summer (and especially in the sectional adult tournaments):

The infamous helicopter Mom.

Sadly, parents in Texas seem to be less under control than ever before.  We regularly hear of parents getting into physical altercations as well as verbal abuse of their children, officials, and anyone who dares cross their paths.  More stringent controls and penalties are much-needed, and sooner than later if you want to continue to see quality families participate in our sport.

Grade: C

The dreaded Texas summer heat seemed to be more overbearing than usual.  At one adult tournament site, they had 5 ambulance calls in one day!  Players need to be more educated about heat and its effects--and then actually take precautions.  One suggestion we received was to start play earlier, take off during the middle of the day, and then resume in the evening.  Great idea but not sure our tournament directors would like the suggestion.

Grade:  B-

Mis-rated players everywhere!

Texas seems to have an acute preponderance of mis-rated players--and its getting worse.  A mis-rated player who is one who plays in a division to which they do not belong--and it happens more often than not.  This travesty occurs at all levels and the USTA desperately needs to come up with a viable solution instead of giving lip service to the problem and then blaming everything on a computer. Nothing is more frustrating than entering a 4.0 tournament and end up playing a 5.5 player...  Add back in some evaluators who actually check out the players (and do it in a league match where it is actually competitive) and then increase the penalties.

Grade:  D

Tennis officials.

No discussion of Texas tournaments would be complete without a discussion of officials.  As usual, there are a ton of good ones who care about the sport and do a great job--and then there are a few that are a disgrace to the profession.  We regularly hear horror stories about officials' actions so we need to clean up our house!  Bad officials come to surface rather quickly and its time for the leadership in Texas to step up and do something about it.  Our pay is now at a good level so there should be no problem in expecting a job well done for a day's pay.

Grade:  C-

Junior Tennis

Everyone has encountered the screaming little brat that seems to enter every tournament and wreak havoc everywhere they go--but hopefully the tide is turning.  The kids seem to be behaving better and steps are being taken to reign in the terrors.  There is still much work to do but congratulations to our kids for doing so much better!

Grade:  D

Special Note

Since we opened our group up as a public group this morning we have had over 200 hits on our page.  Guess we made the right decision to open it up...

A Timely Reminder: Rules of our Tennis Officiating World

One of the goals of TENNIS OFFICIALS WORLD is to share articles about tennis officiating that are interesting to our readers.  We currently have over 200 hits a day and have just recently exceeded 400,000 readers in our history.

In order to keep our readers happy and interested, we will be making some changes in the coming weeks.  One of the special changes is that we will be adding articles about officiating from different authors.  We think you will find these interesting and informative.

As we seek to grow our group, please keep these guiding principles in mind:

*  We are no longer a tennis blog.  We are simply a site where officials, players, coaches, and fans can share their view about tennis officiating.  Our goal is to expand our "family" and readership to include everyone.

*  To provide as much help as possible to everyone in our tennis officiating world.  This includes informative articles as well as links to all areas of information.  These links will always be listed on the right hand side of our web page.

*  We want to especially develop the family concept among tennis officials.  From time to time we will include real-life photos from our tennis officials world.

*  Our articles will include officiating questions, answers, different scenarios, and anything else anyone can think of.  Some articles will be pointed, some humorous, some ridiculous, but all will pertain to the world of tennis officiating and all its complexities.

*  There will be no articles printed that pertain specifically to the Big 12 Conference.

*  Comments are always welcome and can be added to any article.  You can either do them anonymously or sign your real name.  Noone will ever be embarrassed for making a comment either positive or negative.  Vulgarities and personal attacks will not be tolerated.

*  Any certified tennis official is welcome to share any need or request for help in their area at any time.

How Would You Rule? (This Is A Good One!)

One of the most fun things about having a tennis group on the internet are the strange scenarios that happen all the time.  Now we just have to figure out how to rule in the those situations...

Here's one I received yesterday:

In a recent adult USTA doubles match,  Team A hit a shot that landed in the proper court (though very close to the net) on the wide of Team B.  After the first bounce, the ball rose on the rebound, clearly hitting the net tape/cord (but no other part of the net) on the rise, and continued its ascent into the air when Team B was able to get to the ball for the put away.  Both teams were confused on who won the point.  Team A thought they had won the point since the ball had touched the net after the first bounce.  Team B claimed the point because they had not touched the net, nor had the ball bounced twice, and the ball had only touch the net tape/cord, legal during any other shot in play.

How would you rule in this one?  Not sure how the official ruled but will try to find out and post it real soon.

Notice Anything?

Here's a picture of the medal presentation at the Olympics.  This was shot during the playing of the United States national anthem.

Notice anything  unusual???

Lessons From The Lions

One of the fun things about living and working in the tennis officiating world is that we can enjoy studying each other and laughing at each other while we enjoy a great way of life.  As I was thinking about our officiating world, I thought of the amazing parallels we have with LIONS.  Here are some of the observations...

When we are new (baby) officials, we always have a lot of fun laughing and teasing with each other.  New officials basically don't have a care in the world and just enjoy their new-found vocation.

As the newbies begin to grow into their new officiating lives, they also learn to depend on each other for help, confidence, and safety.  There's nothing more daunting that going to a site or a dual match with a bunch of "older lions" and enduring all they have in store for you...

A wise young official will quickly learn to listen to his elders.  Of course, many of the elders are more than willing to dispense free and unasked for advice.  Just learn to listen and then sift through all you hear for the "pearls of wisdom" that be dropped in your life.  Remember--they are actually trying to protect you by teaching you all that they know.

Even though the older lions may mean well in their never-ending advice and instruction, sometimes the young bucks get tired of listening.  If you're tired--try not to show it.  They love thinking that you dwell on every word they impart to you.

Growing in wisdom and performance is the goal of every new official.  If you work hard and listen and learn from the "older lions" you will soon progress into a good official.  Always remember that there is a protective hedge with the older lions--learn to lean on them when you need them!

And then one day--you are actually a full-grown lion all on your own!  You have learned, listened, and applied all your training and now you're mature and ready to do.  Always remember--the greatest joy for an older lion is to see the younger ones grow into maturity and do a good job!

We do indeed have much to LEARN FROM THE LIONS...

How To Certify New ITA Officials

Many of us recruit new ITA officials all of the time but sometimes it hard to know exactly how to get them certified since we are now using Zebraweb.

Here is the word from on high:

As long as they are certified USTA officials and can be found in NUCULA with a USTA certification (provisional is acceptable), we can have them begin the process to become ITA officials.

Please send me a list of names and email addresses; we will have a new certification period in late September/early October.  We will be sending out an email in the coming weeks to those interested in becoming ITA officials with more detailed information.

Sincerely,
Courtney Potkey
The ITA officiating department
officials@itatennis.com

What Do You Do When They Act Like A Fool?

In every area of life we encounter people who persist in acting like a fool.  In the officiating world, we can narrow that down to players, coaches, officials, and parents and will usually hit the nail on the head.  Here are some helpful hints when you encounter a fool:

Definition:  Someone who acts without regard to logical thinking and reasoning; a "tool" in modern terminology.

*  Always keep in the mind the definition when dealing with one.

1.  What do you do with a player who acts like a fool?

*  Stay close by so you can observe their aberrant behavior.
*  Use a "loving caution" at first be prepared to issue a code violation--and then do it if you need to.
*  Do not put up with their antics.  Remember that codes are progressive...
*  Do not get drawn into a verbal argument.  That's what they want.
*  If you give a code, give it and then remove yourself from the situation.
*  Be sure to write them up because they keep a "Fool's List" at the Section office.
*  Remember that you are the official and don't let them make you out to be the fool.

2.  What to do with a coach who acts like a fool?

*  Maintain your cool.  Observe their behavior and then determine in your mind what your options are.
*  Deal with them firmly but fairly.
*  Do not raise your voice and maintain eye contact when talking to them.  Nothing offends an irate coach more than an official who ignores them or turns away from them when they are talking.
*  If it continues to escalate, do not hesitate to explain what future codes entail if they are enacted.
*  Report them to the appropriate office if it is a serious confrontation.  Athletic directors respond quickly to a coach acting the fool.
*  Maintain your personal dignity.  Don't scream, pull your hair out, or spit.

3.  What to do with an official who acts like a fool?  (And yes, there are some!)

*  If they are a personal friend, confront them personally but do it in a calm and caring manner.
*  If you have never met them, observe their behavior and if need be, confront them personally.  Do not do it in a group.
*  Report them to the referee--and just hope that the fool isn't the referee.
*  Call their Mother--you would be surprised what an indignant Mother can accomplish.
*  Offer to help them get some counseling or additional training if they are losing control and having difficulty in managing situations.
*  Do not get into a physical or verbal confrontational situation.  Noone wants or likes to see two officials arguing or fighting...

4.  What do to with a parent who acts like a fool?

*  Use cautions liberally and wisely.  Sometimes a soft word will turn away anger.
*  Use codes on their child if they continue to disrupt.
*  Remove them from the facility if needed.
*  Try not to embarrass their child even if their parent is a moron.
*  Deal with them fairly and firmly.  If you see that you can't talk with them successfully, then do what you have to do.
*  Be sure to report them.  Not only do they maintain a "Fool's List", they also have a "Crazy Parents List" at the Section office.

Good luck in your future dealings--you might need it!

Incredible!

David Nalbandian being defaulted after hitting a linesperson.

Tennis players are often defaulted in tournaments for bad behavior but just when you think you've heard it all or seen it all, something new comes along--and this is it!

In a recent USTA adult tournament, player A (who was from out of town) was leading player B by one set and well up in the second.  The people with whom player A was staying, were talking with the roving official in the stands and told the official that player A would have to default the next day if she won because she would be leaving town. 

The official then went on the court and defaulted player A.  When we checked the tournament results for the reason, it stated "Retired-personal circumstance."  After talking with a good friend of player A, we were told that she did not "retire" but was "defaulted" by this roving official because she would not be there the next day to play. 

Miraculous to say the least....

NOTE:  Remember that we are writing this from information we received from the player's close friend.  If you are the official or the referee in this situation, we would be more than happy to hear your explanation if it is different.

A Walk Through The Park--What An Experience!

If you have ever met with a group of tennis officials or just observed them in action, you know that is quite an experience!  Never a weekend goes by that we don't hear bizarre tales of officials and their rulings.  Some totally wrong but the vast majority right on target.  The thing that makes the world of officials so unique and interesting is the fact that we are made up of different folks with different personalities and different ways of officiating.  Here are some of the wild ones...

The Fist Bumper

One of the most "politically correct" of all officials but also the most frustrating.  After all, we're not in the 8th grade any longer and hardly need to bump fists every time we see each other.  One official was overheard telling another, "let me give you some knuckle love".  Gross!  They are the ones who are always waiting for you when you finish your match with fist extended...

The "Expert on Everything"

There aren't too many of these but the ones we do have are awful!  They think they are an expert on anything and everything in life--and freely share their self image with everyone in the room.  Deeply offended if they ever miss a question on the officials' exams and rarely have many friends in the officiating world.  Seldom invited for drinks or supper...  Love to get you into discussions about rules so they can share their vast knowledge with everyone in sight.

Attila the Hun

This is the official who charges headlong into every situation and codes anything and everyone in their path.  Commonly seen running around with their tape measure and stop watch at junior events and are the scourge of any adult tournament.  Usually found in west Texas but have been sighted in all areas of the country. Don't dare take 21 seconds between points because they will get you!

OCD Terror

You don't want to have this one on your team for sure.  They are possessed with every detail and even if you put their sticks up for them and measure their net, they still go back and do it all over again.  They have to have their water bottle in the same place everytime and freak out if their clothes aren't perfectly ironed or if there is a hair out of place.  Usually iron their shorts and shirts and underwear before every match or tournament.  Women with this disorder are usually narcissists and men just drive everyone nuts.  Too bad there isn't a pill we can give them to chill them out...

The incessant talker.

This is the official that you just want to tell to shut up.  They talk constantly and about anything and everything--and usually show their ignorance just opening their mouths over and over again.  If this is you, do us all a favor and dial it back a bit...

Arrives late and wants to leave early...

You don't usually have to see these officials for long because no coordinator will put up with their antics.  They always seem to arrive late for their shift or rotation and then have some sob story so they can leave early.  Be careful that your coordinators don't get together and compare your stories or you will soon be out of a job.  High maintenance officials usually don't last long.

"The Whiner"

The scourge of all officiating is the whiner!  They gripe and complain about everything and then they are the first ones calling and asking when they are going to get paid.  Nothing pleases them and they are always looking for someone to listen to their complaints.  If they are a woman, they are usually divorced or have driven their husband crazy.  If they are a man, avoid them at all costs.  They will ruin your image...