Sunday, November 28, 2010

Defining Your Circle of Tolerance

At one time or another we will all be confronted with an angry parent, player, or coach.

Learning our "circle of tolerance" and when to call in the reinforcements is a valuable lesson for all officials.

As tennis officials we all discover that at one time or another we are going to be confronted with either an angry/irate parent, player, or coach--and we need to be prepared on how we are going to react. I call it our "circle of tolerance" or that limit that you impose on how much you are going to tolerate from another person.

During our schools we are given hints on how to deal with angry or disruptive people and its all good advice. Once you get on the court though you won't have an instructor to teach you or a book to advise you--you personally are going to have to decide how much you will or will not tolerate in your dealings with players, parents, and coaches.

In the ITA world we have the tool of "coach's warning and coach's penalties" which are very explicit. In the USTA world you have guidelines you can use to penalize someone who is creating a problem but these are simply guidelines and rules. A good official learns how to diffuse situations instead of creating them and it requires a lot of wisdom and patience. Here are a few thoughts on the issue:

* Always speak is a calm voice.
* Determine early in your career what you will and will not tolerate and then stand firm on your decisions.
* Study articles and books on dealing with disruptive people. It will help!
* Do not let the offending person scream at you. You have tools to use in this instance so learn to use them.
* Do not raise your hands in defense or anger with dealing with a disruptive person.
* Try to figure out quickly what their behavior is based upon.
* Learn judicious use of your stopwatch to get the person's attention.
* Do not permit them to swear at you or touch you personally for any reason.
* Know where the exits of the facility are located.
* Penalize when necessary but not in retaliation.
* Have the offending person removed from the facility if necessary.

We all have war stories on this subject--we would love to hear yours...

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

My tolerance ends as soon as someone hurls obsenities at me. We all know we're not in this for the money, but we don't get paid enough to be abused in this manner.

RM said...

If they swear or yell at me then you can be sure they will get a code. Noone has to put up with that garbage.

Anonymous said...

I have great tolerance for most parents, coaches, and players. However, my tolerance for certain officials is "dental floss" thin. I mean, how long can you take someone always spouting off on how they are the best official and always have to get their way. If they don't, then they will pout and those bad vibes migrate to every other official. And then everybody feels like they are walking on egg shells and can't wait for their assignment to be over.

It would be a good idea if someone would step up and tell those offending officials to go get a psycho analysis so doctors can prescribe appropriate meds. If not, then they should be banned from working events with other humans.

Anonymous said...

Your picture of the dog reminds me of a certain official from south of Waco when she doesn't get her way.

Anonymous said...

"...my tolerance for certain officials is "dental floss" thin. I mean, how long can you take someone always spouting off on how they are the best official and always have to get their way. If they don't, then they will pout and those bad vibes migrate to every other official. And then everybody feels like they are walking on egg shells and can't wait for their assignment to be over.

It would be a good idea if someone would step up and tell those offending officials to go get a psycho analysis so doctors can prescribe appropriate meds. If not, then they should be banned from working events with other humans."

One questioi, Why Don't You?

Anonymous said...

"It would be a good idea if someone would step up and tell those offending officials to go get a psycho analysis so doctors can prescribe appropriate meds. If not, then they should be banned from working events with other humans."

Why don't you step up yourself? Why does it always have to be someone else?