Monday, April 19, 2010

New Quotes From The ITA Season

Now that this year's ITA season is drawing to a close, I thought I would list some of the interesting statements that I have heard during the year. If you have some of your own, be sure to send them in.

1. "Tell me again, how much do we get paid." If you asked this, you probably won't be working much.

2. "If they are only footfaulting an inch or less then we aren't supposed to call it." This was supposedly taught at the Chair Academy but I can't find an instructor who will own up to it.

3. "Its been 3 days since my last match--how come I haven't gotten paid yet?" Obviously, they don't work for SMU.

4. "I was only in your office and on your personal computer to check the weather." I won't even begin to justify this one.

5. "Cheryl has a Big 12 opening so can I get out of my assignment with you?" I heard this one way more than I can stand. If I get another one, I can really help--I'll release you from all your assignments.

6. "I can't come work your match because my mother died." I actually believed it but then found out the official was working an event in Oklahoma.

7. "Only 40% of the ball hit the line." That was a great quote coming from an ITA player who called that ball out. I reminded him that 1% of the ball on the line made it good.

8. "Please don't put my picture on the blog." Where else can I get good copy?

9. "I'm not happy with my assignments since I didn't get to do the #1 singles match." This one happens every year...

10. "Why don't they wear the new ITA shirts in College Station?" Who knows...

11. "We're not playing since its 49 degrees outside." Sounds like Ohio State to me.

12. "I gave a code because what he said sounded like a bad word." Sounding like something doesn't make it true.

13. "I need to go take my break. I'll be in the car smoking and listening to music if you want me." I didn't know we got breaks.

14. "Why did Cheryl send me to Lubbock?" Because noone else will go there.

15. "I'm only footfaulting because I have big feet." I would love to have seen those feet!

16. "How come I don't get to work matches in ____?" Maybe its because the coordinator doesn't like you or think you are qualified.

17. "Can I get out of my assignment so I can go call lines in a pro tournament in Africa?" This is my favorite of all time. I always try to let them go so they can go earn their $70/day.

18. "Do I really have to learn the verbiage for a chair official?" Yes, you do.

19. "Why don't your matches pay as much as the Big 12?" Because only God has that much money.

20. "Why do some coaches yell at me when I'm in the chair?" Because they like to spend quality bonding time with you.

21. "Why don't they chair all the matches?" So they can save money.

These are just a few of the ones I heard this year. Send in your's...

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

after getting an unsportsmanlike code violation for making a very late call on a ball 3 inches inside the line, the player said, "C'mon it was a little bit funny wasn't it?"

Anonymous said...

Great quote from a freshman German player "But the ball was out by ONE meter" referring to a service line overrule. Lets see, one meter is approximately 3' 3". Either the player has really bad eyesight or he needs to go back to school and learn how long a meter really is.

Anonymous said...

Overheard in an Officials meeting prior to assigning the courts - and I quote, "Let me have Kellen - he cannot be a tough as his sister was yesterday"!!

Anonymous said...

And the best quote of all is "I'm not going there" referring to stepping up and issuing a third overrrule after the official has already overruled the player twice previously. PRICELESS

Sweet Pea said...

Haha we all know who #9 applies to. Hey Eeyore, what is your take on this one?

Anonymous said...

Then there's the perennial question from the Rice Men's Coach playting at TCU "Didn't you graduate from TCU?"
And the women's player from a forgotten school who, when the Referee denied her Coach's appeal of the Chair's ruling that a player may not reach over the net to the opponent's side to return an incoming shot, looked at her coach and said "But you told us we could do that!"

Anonymous said...

Here's a twist. The famous quote that was never uttered this year "You are the worst official I've ever seen." Can you guess who has said this every year until this one?

Anonymous said...

Quote heard repeatedly at Big 12 matches "Do you mean I have to stay until the END of the match"

Anonymous said...

Quotes heard at every Big 12 Women's match this year "OMG, this is the worst tennis ever. Why don't they just give the trophy to Baylor and put us out of our misery"

Anonymous said...

"Can you work the 2012 NCAA Regionals at Baylor." We all know it's never too early for proper planning.

Anonymous said...

"Where's Glen? We need to get the balls ready for the match."

Anonymous said...

"Why did Randall put court numbers on the balls? Now we can't use them for our match."

Anonymous said...

"OUT." This came from an official on his first assignment of the year while observing the far side line in a women's ITA doubles match.

Anonymous said...

C'mon, the out call, who hasn't done that....be honest...and who hasn't stuttered or choked back a let call in a men's Div I match?

The best I heard this year was an official telling a women's player that they don't have bathroom breaks.

Anonymous said...

A seasoned chair umpire, after an overrule,said to the coach, I saw the ball on the line coach. And the coach replied saying, that is the problem, you dont see as well as you think you do.

Other officials saw the ball out as the player called. Some think that the official is biased against the home team.

How do you deal with this issue in your match assignments?

Anonymous said...

Lets all keep in mind that none of us . . .and I mean none of us . . .is correct 100% of the time when it comes to appeals and overrules. If you think you are then you are sadly mistaken and think higher of yourslef than anyone else does.

It is totally unfair to say:

"other officials saw the ball out as the player called"

because the other officials may have had a better view, may not have been looking into the sun, etc.

If we have to be right 100% of the time, then we better get more officials out there to call lines!

Our goal is to do the best job we can and support each other on judgment calls - questions of fact.
Questions of law are another issue for another post.

Anonymous said...

"Lets all keep in mind that none of us . . .and I mean none of us . . .is correct 100% of the time when it comes to appeals and overrules. If you think you are then you are sadly mistaken and think higher of yourslef than anyone else does.

It is totally unfair to say:

"other officials saw the ball out as the player called"

because the other officials may have had a better view, may not have been looking into the sun, etc.

If we have to be right 100% of the time, then we better get more officials out there to call lines!

Our goal is to do the best job we can and support each other on judgment calls - questions of fact.
Questions of law are another issue for another post."

Here, here!

God said...

I don't know about you, but I'm always right 110% of the time. In fact, I can tell when a player is going to make a bad call BEFORE they make it.

Now that is good.

Anonymous said...

"Oh, I guess YOU are our token female for the match" when realizing there is a woman working a Men's Big 12 match.

Anonymous said...

And the response to the coach making the comment about token female would be....And I assume you're the token coach.