Now that this year's ITA season is drawing to a close, I thought I would list some of the interesting statements that I have heard during the year. If you have some of your own, be sure to send them in.
1. "Tell me again, how much do we get paid." If you asked this, you probably won't be working much.
2. "If they are only footfaulting an inch or less then we aren't supposed to call it." This was supposedly taught at the Chair Academy but I can't find an instructor who will own up to it.
3. "Its been 3 days since my last match--how come I haven't gotten paid yet?" Obviously, they don't work for SMU.
4. "I was only in your office and on your personal computer to check the weather." I won't even begin to justify this one.
5. "Cheryl has a Big 12 opening so can I get out of my assignment with you?" I heard this one way more than I can stand. If I get another one, I can really help--I'll release you from all your assignments.
6. "I can't come work your match because my mother died." I actually believed it but then found out the official was working an event in Oklahoma.
7. "Only 40% of the ball hit the line." That was a great quote coming from an ITA player who called that ball out. I reminded him that 1% of the ball on the line made it good.
8. "Please don't put my picture on the blog." Where else can I get good copy?
9. "I'm not happy with my assignments since I didn't get to do the #1 singles match." This one happens every year...
10. "Why don't they wear the new ITA shirts in College Station?" Who knows...
11. "We're not playing since its 49 degrees outside." Sounds like Ohio State to me.
12. "I gave a code because what he said sounded like a bad word." Sounding like something doesn't make it true.
13. "I need to go take my break. I'll be in the car smoking and listening to music if you want me." I didn't know we got breaks.
14. "Why did Cheryl send me to Lubbock?" Because noone else will go there.
15. "I'm only footfaulting because I have big feet." I would love to have seen those feet!
16. "How come I don't get to work matches in ____?" Maybe its because the coordinator doesn't like you or think you are qualified.
17. "Can I get out of my assignment so I can go call lines in a pro tournament in Africa?" This is my favorite of all time. I always try to let them go so they can go earn their $70/day.
18. "Do I really have to learn the verbiage for a chair official?" Yes, you do.
19. "Why don't your matches pay as much as the Big 12?" Because only God has that much money.
20. "Why do some coaches yell at me when I'm in the chair?" Because they like to spend quality bonding time with you.
21. "Why don't they chair all the matches?" So they can save money.
These are just a few of the ones I heard this year. Send in your's...