In the past few weeks I have officiated a match where the team was an absolute abomination in their behavior and also one where the team was a model of integrity and character. Just like the times that you see a family with one child that is a demon and another that is pure quality--what makes the difference?
There are a lot of things that go into developing character and integrity in a child--or in a tennis team. It takes hard work, consistency, accountability, and pure grit. Not all players learn quickly, if ever, and a lot respond immediately so it is up to the coach to find the right balance and stay with them until they produce a quality product. The truth is that the team always takes on the personality (and values) of the coach.
Here are some thoughts to ponder in this discussion:
* A team will radiate the values of the coach. Any time we officiate a match with quality players, they always seem to have a quality coach. Never fails...
* A coach with ethics, values, and a strong sense of morality will always instill that in their players.
* A quality coach doesn't permit his/her players to cheat on a consistent basis. The other side of the coin is that a team that consistently cheats usually has a coach that either encourages it or ignores it.
* You can't force-feed integrity. It always comes through when they are able to see integrity in deeds, words, and attitudes and then emulate it in their behavior.
* The sad thing is that a player who has no integrity usually has parents with very little or none and a coach with even less.
A female official recently got her nose all out of joint when I suggested taking a prospective official to lunch so you can get to know them and observe how they live their life out in public. I still hold to that principle.
Spend a little time with the players and the coach and you will know where their level of integrity stands... Never fails. You can learn a lot from officiating their matches but mealtime is the best indicator of all.
2 comments:
Could not agree more
As officials, we can do our part when we work youth tournaments, the younger the better. Some of these players have had less than ideal parenting (they may even have a parent who's trying to live vicariously through their child's success on the court, and are therefore driving them pretty hard to succeed). The over-the-top emotions and tears exhibited by these youngsters related to their performance during a match is a reflection of out-of-balance values.
During pre-match, we can emphasize that the goal is to have fun playing the sport, that the outcome will not change their life, that what is eternal is how they treat the other player during the match, so they should treat their opponent as they themselves want to be treated, make line calls that give their opponent the benefit of the doubt etc. It only takes an extra 20 seconds, but you can make a difference in these kids' lives if you care.
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