A fastidious example of proper ball sorting techniques.
Here are the contenders and a brief description of their skills and talents:
GLEN WHITAKER
Glen has been at the top for a long time but has recently been challenged by some new and upcoming officials in our two states. Glen pays meticulous detail to his tennis balls and makes sure that they are labeled and sorted before each match. Woe be unto any official that dares mess with Glen's ball cans before a match or changes their order.
RANDALL EDWARDS
Randall is a member of the new breed of ball sorters. He has a shiny new pen to label each can of balls and sorts an entire case before each match, assigning the proper balls to each court. He has been universally mentioned as the heir apparent to Glen Whitaker's throne.
DAVID FLEURIET
David is more of an "old school ball sorter" who lives in the indescribable city of Waco, Texas. His lot in life usually consists of sorting Bear tennis balls before the Baylor matches. David is not given to much detail and frequently trusts some of the sorting to the other officials but that in no way infers that he doesn't pay attention to his tennis balls.
JIM LAWSON
Jim is our one entry from the state of Oklahoma and he has been around the longest. Jim is very private and personal when it comes to his tennis balls and he lets noone touch them before a match. In fact, he is so fastidious that he personally takes the tennis balls out on each court before the match begins.
MYRON KRUEGER
Myron is the newest entry into our poll. The picture above is an example of Myron's fine ball sorting abilities and please note that he not only assigns his balls to a specific court but he also put the # of the balls on each can.
Each of these men are fine examples of the All-American ball sorter. Please vote in the poll at the top right of the blog so can crown a new KING OF BALL SORTERS.
34 comments:
SIGNED BELOW
This isn't a real question
Not only is Glen Whitaker the best at this.He has the best sense of humor about it as well.
And,if you are the Referee,he actually cares about how you might want it done.
This reminds me of a sports show where someone asked if there are only 3 seconds left on the clock would you rather have Jordan or(fill in your choice) take the shot and the person being asked said"is this a real question?"
Now if we are discussing a type of retentiveness as a personality trait.this is a pretty good list to start from
HAYMUNCHER
The question you should be asking is WHO gets the most upset when other people mess with their balls.
That is NOT a good question - because three of those guys would most likely REALLY enjoy someone else numbering their balls.
I really think it is worong to have Jim included in the BSAC - Ball Sorters of America Championship - he he does not and has never played well with others. Dave is not a challenger in this competition because he never opens the box the right way. Randall is passes the buck (deligates well) - he should be OFF the list, Krueger is beyond ANAL - he is now up near the small intestine as far as perfection goes.... that leaves us with Whitaker - I am very surprised that you even put your toe in the water with this one RM - Glen is and always will be my choice as the WORLD - BSAC!!!!
good one anonymous 8am - but you will never get a full can out these guys!
Must be a slow news day.........
I had to personally take over the ball sorting and delivery to the courts because of the chaos that developed with the old grab and carry method the basic umpire used.
Assuming each case of balls has a normal ball # ratio, then on all of my matches the chairs for courts 1-4 can expect to have the ball # correspond to their match #.
Then just put even #'d balls on ct. 5; and odd #'d balls on ct. 6. This isn't exactly rocket science people.
But personally, I have to give the nod to Randall. He has a stealth method in sorting; you get to the match and chat around just a little, look up and the balls are already done.
I can't count how many times some of our more intellectually challenged officials have grabbed the wrong balls for their matches, although they were already sorted and labeled. That’s the main reason we need someone to step up and assign balls to each official AND court. Some of these officials even have a hard time grabbing the correct balls, although they are blatantly labeled with court number on the top of the can. And it gets even worse when there are two duals going on simultaneously. The situation isn’t quite as bad as it used to be now that the girls are using extra-duty balls too. I can still remember one time when the officials working a Women’s match at OU grabbed the balls intended for the Men’s match and started their matches, although they were separated and at different locations. I can still remember seeing JL scurry around collecting all balls and sorting them out. He looked like a hungry rat in search of much needed cheese. It was hilarious to watch.
A true BSAC has a multitude of colored pens in their possesion for marking ball cans. Another valuable asset is their ability to clearly and neatly mark the cans and not use chicken scratch. Personally, I like to see gold as the color of choice. It goes well with the black and yellow logos on the Wilson tennis cans. It's a fashion thing.
What would happen if all four BSAC candidates arrive for the same match at the same time with their pens in their hands and a new case of balls sitting in the middle of the room? Who decides who gets the honour of marking balls? If I were the Referee, I would run for teh hills.
I have to say, this has been one of the more fun topics RM has posted on his blog.
Somehow or another I think the Myronian is voting for himself... Way too many votes and way too quick. At least he's creative.
Randall does a fine job sorting balls. However, he needs to learn to include the ball number on each can. This is very helpful, especially at Baylor, where the home coaches will sometimes play musical chairs with their player court assignments.
No sorry there. Randall doesn't sort balls at Baylor.
Does each school have their own ball sorters? Is there training available for the rest of us interested in learning the proper techniques? I haven't seen anything in the 2011 Friend At Court that discusses ball preparation and our instructor didn't cover it in our school last year.
I went onto Nucula and didn't see a certification category for Ball Sorter. Will there be one forthcoming?
After we crown the #1 Ball Sorter in America, I'm sure they will be available to tutor those who would wish to follow in their footsteps--at a nominal fee I'm sure...
BSAC - is Glen. NO MORE DISCUSSION
ALTHOUGH watching Jim "scurry" would be VERY entertaining stuff.
Kruger is dorking with the stats on this blog... RM DO NOT let him SMILE at you and say anything different- IF HE DOES it is a LIE! You REALLY have to watch your back with that guy... ball sorter or not - he is dangerous. HE WILL STOP at NOTHING to be the BSAC!!! love Marla
Fastidious Example!?!?!
GET A ROOM!
Put Glen and Myron in a room with a box of balls and Knoll assigning the courts - see who comes out on top... Glen will make Myron look like a new official on the deciding match Kellen Domico on court.
If they start making t-shirts or passing out Tatoo's of Glen as the BSAC - I want to be first in line... IS IT TRUE that Glen has been asked to sort balls for the Bryan Brothers and the other guys on the Davis Cup? Seems fitting - he lives there and all.
I just received word from a reliable and unimpeachable source that the inglorious Myronian is voting over and over for HIMSELF...
He should be duly ashamed of himself!
Glen for PRESIDENT!
Dave, Randall, Jim and Myron need to ask themselves - ARE WE WORTHY to be in the same ball sorting catagory as Glen - answer - NO!
I must concede defeat. It is quite clear that I do not have the skills and abilities to compete with such illustrious fellow officials. But it has been a privilege to at least be mentioned in the same poll with this highly skilled BSA group.
I think the primary reason I am clearly "dead-assed last" is because I am obviously the youngest member of this group! Best wishes to my "seasoned" colleagues.
David Fleuriet
Interesting totals. Personally, I don't care which balls are used on which courts. A good chair umpire can keep track of 3-4 balls without too much difficulty. If the players get confused and use balls from a different court, I could care less. The only thing that concerns me is when a chair umpire on an adjacent court sees a ball rolling onto their court from mine and won't give it back.
Sources from the inside say that the Myronian is going to every cubicle at LockheedMartin and logging on and voting for himself over & over for BSAC.
The Myronian is a novice compared to his competition for the BSAC.
YES indeed!! the USTA is considering the Ball Sorter certification. At the recently completed USTA national meeting in Florida, Richie addressed a committee meeting on this topic. It was reported that he will be requiring a White Badge in order to be considered for this important certification level.
I can put together a quick training course on tennis ball preparation and etiquette for those in need of further remedial training. Thanks to all my fellow officials who have taken time out of their busy day and voted me America’s #1 Ball Sorter. I will continue to remain humble and help other officials in pursuit of sorting expertise so we can all be as qualified as technically and administratively feasible.
My secret research department is frantically working on new technology for making quantum leaps in ball sorting techiques. Now for a limited time, all can see a demo of the most recent lab test, free of charge no less at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkBqlhmOvMw&NR=1
Jim is the best, leaving out the Arkie Standrod was a regional slight. Randal is a good one as well. Pigpen is a good choice...but Randy...will you please go back to Pigpens bio and use some of your editorial prowess...2 of the sentences could use a bit of.......rewording. I'm just saying......
Jim is good but is easily miffed if his ball order is touched. Randal is quite competent. Myron should be exceptional with his engineering background...but his biking mishaps could lead one to wonder that once the cans were arraigned...would they fall over. A regional favorite, the Arkie Standrod, was slighted by not being included. I would concede that the slimmed down Pigpen is good. But Randy...will you use your editorial prowess and reword Pigpens Bio....I'm not sure is you are referring to tennis or personal in 2 of the sentences. Just saying.......
Big Mike was intentionally left out of the BSAC competition because he was way too instructural with his 3-page manual on ball sorting that he issues to his crew.
You can't leave the Myronian alone with computers and a poll that he is included in.
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