These are the all too familiar words of many of today's tennis kids... Their parents have become an embarrassment to them and in many of our tournaments, are completely out of control. Just like we officials are required to attend a school once a year, perhaps the USTA should make a "parent's course" mandatory for all parents of junior tennis players.
We've all had encounters with the "mother from hell" and all of her tricks and tirades... What a joy and hardly worth the amount of money we are being paid to oversee their children. In a recent boys 12's ZAT tournament, we had two mothers get into a screaming match in the stands. It is any wonder their boys grow up to be juvenile delinquents. Seems that the mothers these days tend to be more aggressive than the dads but then it could just be the time of year when dads are out hunting and mothers are supervising their darlings.
Lest we think the mothers are the only violators, you see some crazy dads out there too...This past weekend we had one dad physically confront the doubles team that had just beaten his son. To make it worse, the attacked boy's coach came to the rescue and then got into a shouting match with the errant father. After the UIL dual match was completed, the father again confronted the opposing team and the shouting began all over again. Too bad we can't issue penalties after a match is completed...
In that same match, official #1 warned a father about coaching his daughter and was told, "I'm her father and I can do whatever I want." After being told he couldn't and that his daughter would be penalized and he would be removed from the center, he left in a huff. Later in the match the referee walked by and the father was coaching again. The referee firmly reiterated to the father that coaching was forbidden and he would be removed and his daughter coded if he didn't stop. Again he said, "She's my daughter and I can coach her anytime I want." In a loving and sensitive manner, the referee looked him directly in his fatherly eyes and said, "do you fully understand that if you utter another word of coaching to your daughter you will be removed from this center and your daughter coded?" At that point the father sat down--and the referee called the daughter's coach over to reaffirm the actions.
The outcome: the daughter lost (obviously the coaching wasn't working), the coach had a 10 minute visit with the dad, and the sun set on a long, long dual match.
WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
As officials, this is always a difficult decision since you want to enforce the rules but also avoid world war 3... Here are some suggestions (and I'm sure there are more):
1. Be firm with out of control parents. Warn them first, then code the player, and then remove the parent.
2. Be sure to write up the offending parent and send the writeup to Austin.
3. Do not ignore bad behavior and unethical actions by a parent. That only makes them worse for the next official.
4. Pray that the bad parents will go to someone else's tournament.
5. Pray for the kid because they have to live with that parent.
6. Encourage the parent of an errant child to discipline their own children instead of asking us to do it. Imagine what would happen if little Johnny's Dad took him off the court any time he misbehaved--either Johnny would behave or we wouldn't have to worry about him any more.
7. Remember that all parents are not offenders. The vast majority are wonderful--but we all need to deal with those who dishonor the name of "parent."
4 comments:
Heavy emphasis on #4 and #5 on your list.
I find that one gender is not worse than the other when it comes to parents.
Just a reminder that 99% or so of the parents you will encounter are gracious and are appreciative you are at the tournament. They will wait until they get to the car to humiliate their child.
Good luck.
I think, part of the problem is that it’s a different ball game, so to speak, in the Open era of tennis. As tennis fans, as tennis parents, we see things through a sparkling prism. Multi-million dollar sponsorships, endorsements, limos, jets, appearance money, celebrity athletes, autographs, close-ups of proud mom and dad in the stands broadcast to a global audience … tennis is a shiny, sparking bauble that we want our kids, that we want ourselves, to have a piece of.
some of us PARENTS aren’t ready to give up the dream of the shining bauble we picture our kids grabbing a few years down the road. We’re not willing to insist that our kids make fair calls and correct themselves when they’ve made a mistake. We’re not willing to impose consequences (not playing the next tournament, missing practice) until they start being honest. Some of us tell our kids that winning, no matter what you have to do to win, is all that matters. Some of us tell our kids that they next kid they play will do whatever it takes to beat them, including cheat so they might as well do it too.
OK. Let's get real.
"Coaching" is not allowed in USTA junior events,
So officials having that hammer and parents and coaches having that hammer,
identify every gesture, every word coded in a special coaching language,
every utterance in another language
as the insight tossed in to the match that turns the tide for the coach's player.
Ha. Ha. This is delusional. Nothing anyone outside the court does or says has no chance influencing anyone playing on a tennis court.
Officials and parents, being anal about being right and righteous,
focus on this quirk to chirp about,
while the tennis match struggle
goes unnoticed, because
for officials the agenda
is more pay, better food, less on court time,
the union mentality prevails,
unions are the right to incompetent
work,
and poison the cow's milk
and kill the golden goose,
in the land of officials who hovercruise 12 courts at a time
in serious tournaments.
Hope multi-tasking is selected for
in that gene pool.
To anonymous 9:36.....please seek professional help in a BIG HURRY. I hope you've failed the NICS background check, but if you do own any guns, get that professional help before you find yourself climbing to the top of the tower with a footlocker in tow.
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